It seems like I've got a job but I'm actually still unemployed. All I've got at the moment are promises that they'd take me in but there's still no black and white.
Now I'm envying Noves because she is now ''living her dream''. She will be starting as a journalist in December and I believe it is a start of an exciting journey for her. How I'd wish more people would chase after their dreams and heartfelt desires. We have too many that have died without ever truly lived.
''All men die, few that truly lived'' - William Wallace.
At the moment I'm bored out of my wits and it's doing me more harm than good. Things have not been going on well lately. A falling out of a relationship, a not-so-apparent internal disorientation and deterioration and also a minor state of depression.
I'm still holding on to that promise that He knows the plans He has for me, one not to harm but to give hope and prosper (jer 29:11)
I've been reading a wonderful book called ''Wild at Heart''. It really opened my eyes to the problems that have been plaguing men, the lack of masculinity - the boys that never became men.
In this day and age where a lot of families are dysfunctional - missing the father figure, the book simply details on how do we - guys, get on that journey to rediscover and recapture our hearts. Most of my life dad has been absent and I have little fond memories, knowledge or experience of what it means to have a father to be there for you. To teach you the things only another man can teach to another.
And that has expressed itself in my own relationship with Christ. The term 'father'' always had a bittersweet taste to it. I longed for it yet with it was an anguish of impoverishment. Thus, my so-called father-son relationship and intimacy with Christ has always been a rollercoaster. The true meaning of it seems to elude me. Abba Father? I do not recall the last time I truly called out in that manner - I've never.
It's a dangerous thing to revisit past hurts but this is something I'd have to face if I'm to really know what it means to grow up to be a man in the arms of - dad in heaven.
My cry is that many more guys out there would realize the loss they've been dealt with and truly be men who truly live - courageous fighters, passionate, wild, genuine and bearing the mark of the Creator rather than being just...nice.
Matters of the heart
My dad used to tell me that if it's concerning the matters of the heart, even he can't help me. (maybe he never heard of advice) or just did not know how to help. He wasn't even there most parts of our growing up anyway.
I guess I have a lot of searching to do.
I guess I have a lot of searching to do.
Its Back to The Island
Life isn't too bad without my handphone. I left it by mistake by leaving it in Hilda's bag and forgetting to get it back when I sent her back home. I wonder how many others face the predicament of forgetfulness and carelessness. I've been reprimanded so many times for leaving my stuff around - some returned while some were lost for good. Any good advice? (No, tying my belongings around my neck does not constitute good advice)
I'll be flying back to KK this coming Thursday and will be spending a wonderful week back home before starting work at my new place here in KL. I will be great to see family again and to see old friends again.
Here's an interesting article I found over at christianitytoday.com. Its about 'Gutsy Guilt'
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/october/38.72.html
I've always been the one with dreams and hopes of making a change and impact wherever I am. and I came an interesting blog about being an activist/environmentalist - No it does not mean I will be picketing but it does mean getting informed and taking initiative.
http://thelazyenvironmentalist.blogspot.com/ - Mainly issues in Britain but nothing that cant be that irrelevant to us.
Cheers guys - listen closely for that initiative coming near you.
God bless
I'll be flying back to KK this coming Thursday and will be spending a wonderful week back home before starting work at my new place here in KL. I will be great to see family again and to see old friends again.
Here's an interesting article I found over at christianitytoday.com. Its about 'Gutsy Guilt'
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/october/38.72.html
I've always been the one with dreams and hopes of making a change and impact wherever I am. and I came an interesting blog about being an activist/environmentalist - No it does not mean I will be picketing but it does mean getting informed and taking initiative.
http://thelazyenvironmentalist.blogspot.com/ - Mainly issues in Britain but nothing that cant be that irrelevant to us.
Cheers guys - listen closely for that initiative coming near you.
God bless
Somehow, Finally.
It has been a whole 8 months now in KL and most things still don't make sense but I thank God for Him. Without whom I would have most probably drowned in sorrow (pathetic isn't it). I read in a book by John Bevere that if you find yourself in a season of being in the desert - seek to know God and not new purposes or direction.
That particular statement hit me like a truck and I realized that I had made 'purpose' or 'good things' the focal point of my attention - the signs of a first love lost. Bitterness set in, skepticism crept in and confusion made its home.
I made the choice to stop trying to make sense out of things and trusted in Him for a change. Yes, somehow we profess we trust God but do we really? I'll leave that to you to work it out in a practical sense :P I slowly began to remember how it was in the 'early' days - when I stuck bible verses all over my room, when I was so hungry for Him., when I was so eager to serve even out of inconvenience - I used to take a bus at 6am in the morning to get to church.
Call me slow but know the creator and you will know purpose. Took me awhile to internalize it. Things are getting much better now. Praise God for His provision and for going all out to get this particular one back. Undeserving but saved nonetheless.
Jer 29:1 - ''For I know the plans I have for you'', declares the Lord, '' plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future''. And this was said to the exiles of Jerusalem in Babylon. My circumstances are better still.
I'm yelling it out - I'm Christian :)
Another update - I've been accepted as a Risk Surveyor at a general insurer company called Royal And Sun Alliance. To start Nov 1st or 5th. Excited about the job. Will be getting a laptop and a digital camero too! For work purposes of course :)
Cheers and God bless
That particular statement hit me like a truck and I realized that I had made 'purpose' or 'good things' the focal point of my attention - the signs of a first love lost. Bitterness set in, skepticism crept in and confusion made its home.
I made the choice to stop trying to make sense out of things and trusted in Him for a change. Yes, somehow we profess we trust God but do we really? I'll leave that to you to work it out in a practical sense :P I slowly began to remember how it was in the 'early' days - when I stuck bible verses all over my room, when I was so hungry for Him., when I was so eager to serve even out of inconvenience - I used to take a bus at 6am in the morning to get to church.
Call me slow but know the creator and you will know purpose. Took me awhile to internalize it. Things are getting much better now. Praise God for His provision and for going all out to get this particular one back. Undeserving but saved nonetheless.
Jer 29:1 - ''For I know the plans I have for you'', declares the Lord, '' plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future''. And this was said to the exiles of Jerusalem in Babylon. My circumstances are better still.
I'm yelling it out - I'm Christian :)
Another update - I've been accepted as a Risk Surveyor at a general insurer company called Royal And Sun Alliance. To start Nov 1st or 5th. Excited about the job. Will be getting a laptop and a digital camero too! For work purposes of course :)
Cheers and God bless
WOO HOO!
Talk about opportunities. A couple of days ago Jobstreet finally came back to me about my Letter of Offer and I'll be starting this coming Monday. Another company which I've been eyeing for quite some time now called on that same day for an interview! And its this coming Tuesday. It's a general insurer company called Royal and Sun Alliance (a.k.a RSA) . I've been bumming around and getting discouraged and depressed because there had been so little good breaks. I was literally jumping around the house for that whole day.
Looks like it will be finally be starting. I'm still in a dilemma, whether to turn down Jobstreet or just start with them while waiting for RSA's acceptance. I'm thinking it wouldn't be a good thing and troublesome for Jobstreet to employ me and having me leave only maybe after a week? Any tips out there?
I wonder if much of us have given thought to the idea or situation of ''shouldering the burden''. Meaning to say if the sole breadwinner of the family passes away, will I be able to shoulder the family? (assuming that perhaps you're the elder of the lot or the most suitable for it and there's nobody else). Sometimes I come across people who are far beyond me in this matter and they have my respect. I'm 24 this year, not that old but not exactly that young either. Guess the question is, what separates the man from the boy? Something to think about.
Looks like it will be finally be starting. I'm still in a dilemma, whether to turn down Jobstreet or just start with them while waiting for RSA's acceptance. I'm thinking it wouldn't be a good thing and troublesome for Jobstreet to employ me and having me leave only maybe after a week? Any tips out there?
I wonder if much of us have given thought to the idea or situation of ''shouldering the burden''. Meaning to say if the sole breadwinner of the family passes away, will I be able to shoulder the family? (assuming that perhaps you're the elder of the lot or the most suitable for it and there's nobody else). Sometimes I come across people who are far beyond me in this matter and they have my respect. I'm 24 this year, not that old but not exactly that young either. Guess the question is, what separates the man from the boy? Something to think about.
Starceleb? Not for me! Or is it?
It was an experience though. I just thought I'd give it a shot. Took the monorail down to the Parkroyal and I got there with minimal effort. It was different than I had expected. I thought the auditions would be buzzing with people but much to my dismay there wasn't.
So i quickly signed up, sat down and looked around. A girl with her family on my right and the production house crew on my left. Interesting to see how they actually shoot - as in record things in segments. So they had us do the ''I'm here because....'' and ''I'm going in now!..". You don't actually go in :)
There were 2 levels to the audition. First one was a simple introduction of myself and some fact-finding. Got through that. No criminal records! Then I was given a script and told to present that in the second part of the audition. Simple?
Before I knew it I was in the audition room before 3 judges, all of whom I believe are celebrities or at least have some socialite standing. However, I was totally clueless as to who they actually were. So there I was introducing myself again and we started out with a warm-up chat.
It was pretty obvious that I was nervous. I was fidgety and tense. And they asked me to catwalk. So ladies and gentlemen..I hope if it does air on national TV, spare me the embarassment. Then came the dreaded script presentation, I got stuck 3 times. My mind went blank in the faces of the camera, lights and judges. I was wishing that I hadn't been born. With some help from the judges, I managed to finish what I started. Note: they were really nice.
Thanks to American Idol, now all shows must have a 2/3 majority in order for you to proceed. In a nutshell, 2 of them gave me the thumbs up while another thought otherwise. I've discovered that I have bubbling charisma (laughs intently) and that I needed to put on more weight and my sense of dressing was way below what they would deem presentable in the media (it is a hosting and modelling show after all).
After much debate, they decided to let me through to the next stage. The lady who said 'no' mentioned that I was not sure about myself and that it showed in the process of the audition.
Eversince I got to KL, I'm so unsure about so many things. Guess her saying that it showed was an understatement. Cheap sales on question marks.
Recently got 2 interviews. One to work for jobstreet and the other for nevcorp - an advert and marketing company. Choices choices but i feel like im more inclined to the former.
After discussing it with mom, I don't think I'll be pursuing ''starceleb''. Besides, it was from a 'nothing better to do sunday'.
To all of you peeps who are facing the challenge of trying to figure what to do with your life and in the process getting to know yourself better, you have my support! All the best to you wherever you are!
So i quickly signed up, sat down and looked around. A girl with her family on my right and the production house crew on my left. Interesting to see how they actually shoot - as in record things in segments. So they had us do the ''I'm here because....'' and ''I'm going in now!..". You don't actually go in :)
There were 2 levels to the audition. First one was a simple introduction of myself and some fact-finding. Got through that. No criminal records! Then I was given a script and told to present that in the second part of the audition. Simple?
Before I knew it I was in the audition room before 3 judges, all of whom I believe are celebrities or at least have some socialite standing. However, I was totally clueless as to who they actually were. So there I was introducing myself again and we started out with a warm-up chat.
It was pretty obvious that I was nervous. I was fidgety and tense. And they asked me to catwalk. So ladies and gentlemen..I hope if it does air on national TV, spare me the embarassment. Then came the dreaded script presentation, I got stuck 3 times. My mind went blank in the faces of the camera, lights and judges. I was wishing that I hadn't been born. With some help from the judges, I managed to finish what I started. Note: they were really nice.
Thanks to American Idol, now all shows must have a 2/3 majority in order for you to proceed. In a nutshell, 2 of them gave me the thumbs up while another thought otherwise. I've discovered that I have bubbling charisma (laughs intently) and that I needed to put on more weight and my sense of dressing was way below what they would deem presentable in the media (it is a hosting and modelling show after all).
After much debate, they decided to let me through to the next stage. The lady who said 'no' mentioned that I was not sure about myself and that it showed in the process of the audition.
Eversince I got to KL, I'm so unsure about so many things. Guess her saying that it showed was an understatement. Cheap sales on question marks.
Recently got 2 interviews. One to work for jobstreet and the other for nevcorp - an advert and marketing company. Choices choices but i feel like im more inclined to the former.
After discussing it with mom, I don't think I'll be pursuing ''starceleb''. Besides, it was from a 'nothing better to do sunday'.
To all of you peeps who are facing the challenge of trying to figure what to do with your life and in the process getting to know yourself better, you have my support! All the best to you wherever you are!
Golden Goals
This is it. My 6 month short-term goal - Hold down a job for that period, a commitment to always be working and RM2000 minimun in savings by the end of year. Feasible ain't it?
I must honestly admit I was pretty aimless for the first 3 months of my stay here. Suffered for it as well, my savings were plummetting and I was pretty much depressed.
But thank God for godsent help and constant support from friends and family I can feel myself coming out of it. With lots of help from Yinsoon, I was able to come to peace with myself and articulate with much more clarity of why am I here in KL. Thus priorites were set and it's an amazing feeling to know I'm not punching blindly anymore *looks for that sandbag*
This is going to be a memorable year indeed, just celebrated my first birthday away from home.
Island boy, out.
I must honestly admit I was pretty aimless for the first 3 months of my stay here. Suffered for it as well, my savings were plummetting and I was pretty much depressed.
But thank God for godsent help and constant support from friends and family I can feel myself coming out of it. With lots of help from Yinsoon, I was able to come to peace with myself and articulate with much more clarity of why am I here in KL. Thus priorites were set and it's an amazing feeling to know I'm not punching blindly anymore *looks for that sandbag*
This is going to be a memorable year indeed, just celebrated my first birthday away from home.
Island boy, out.
KL KL KL
Finally, I'm in KL. Here for almost a week now. A brand new chapter in life. Told a friend that I was here and they exclaimed 'Besar sudah!' and I realized that for me to spread my wings, I had to leave my nest.
Thanks to the many who gave their support and prayer. My family especially. Love them so much.
First week here was pleasant. Managed to get around and familiarize myself with a few places. Managed to go to cell and service at CHC KL. Been having headaches, a runny nose and cough for the past couple of days. Getting used to the substandard air and water quality here I suppose :P
Had a great time at a CF i went to with yinsoon at his college, Kemayan ATC. Managed to meet up with Rosey the cow, she's so much fun and esther as well. Not forgetting Hammy and the whole bunch of CFers old and new. We learned about encouragement and I thought that it was very impactful and very applicable. We had a time to write good stuff and stuff to help people get along in life despite the challenges and bumps and the feeling of seeing their faces smile, laugh or cry when reading their received notes is one of the most amazing things you could ever see. It's comparable to the break in the clouds, allowing rays of light to warm your face after a period of destitution.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11. This is what I'm holding on to.
Still no job yet but there might be a promising prospect at the operations department at Standard Chartered.
A short update after a long silence. Cheers.
Thanks to the many who gave their support and prayer. My family especially. Love them so much.
First week here was pleasant. Managed to get around and familiarize myself with a few places. Managed to go to cell and service at CHC KL. Been having headaches, a runny nose and cough for the past couple of days. Getting used to the substandard air and water quality here I suppose :P
Had a great time at a CF i went to with yinsoon at his college, Kemayan ATC. Managed to meet up with Rosey the cow, she's so much fun and esther as well. Not forgetting Hammy and the whole bunch of CFers old and new. We learned about encouragement and I thought that it was very impactful and very applicable. We had a time to write good stuff and stuff to help people get along in life despite the challenges and bumps and the feeling of seeing their faces smile, laugh or cry when reading their received notes is one of the most amazing things you could ever see. It's comparable to the break in the clouds, allowing rays of light to warm your face after a period of destitution.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11. This is what I'm holding on to.
Still no job yet but there might be a promising prospect at the operations department at Standard Chartered.
A short update after a long silence. Cheers.
A New Year
Been away for quite a bit. December's packed schedule seemed so far away now. Was pretty occupied for that month, attending to year-end Christmas events and the Diocesan Youth camp and last but not least Sally's wedding :) (yes for those who know her, yes she did get married which shows that all things are possible) :P. Congrats Sal and ZX on your marriage, truly one of a kind :)
The trip to Singapore was so challenging. We were practically living by the minute and I stayed at four different places every night. But nonetheless it was a great experience and we got to walk some parts of the city at night, the lights and architecture of some buildings are just magnificent. Compared to some parts in Malaysia, it felt so safe to walk around there at night, but still home will always be home and i do hope that in some ways home will be better for future generations :)
I have decided to go over to KL to work. Some may find it foolish, some say daring but its just a step of faith for me to go even before securing a job. I am still applying and sending out resumes, thanks to all those who are helping out now :) Would like to venture into the field of business, marketing,sales,PR, you name it. Would like to challenge myself in this area, in meeting and handling people, in meeting deadlines and goals. Guess this stems from me already experiencing working environments where the pace is so slow its suitable for those who'd like to just be around doing almost nothing (no offense, the experience is still great).
In a few months, some might hear me complain about how busy I am and how I'd long for a break. But hear this, no regrets as I would have most probably not chosen another way :)
Been praying about this and there has been confirmation upon confirmation. feeling nervous about this particular big leap but very excited about it as well.
KL here i come :)
p/s
Happy new year to all of you
The trip to Singapore was so challenging. We were practically living by the minute and I stayed at four different places every night. But nonetheless it was a great experience and we got to walk some parts of the city at night, the lights and architecture of some buildings are just magnificent. Compared to some parts in Malaysia, it felt so safe to walk around there at night, but still home will always be home and i do hope that in some ways home will be better for future generations :)
I have decided to go over to KL to work. Some may find it foolish, some say daring but its just a step of faith for me to go even before securing a job. I am still applying and sending out resumes, thanks to all those who are helping out now :) Would like to venture into the field of business, marketing,sales,PR, you name it. Would like to challenge myself in this area, in meeting and handling people, in meeting deadlines and goals. Guess this stems from me already experiencing working environments where the pace is so slow its suitable for those who'd like to just be around doing almost nothing (no offense, the experience is still great).
In a few months, some might hear me complain about how busy I am and how I'd long for a break. But hear this, no regrets as I would have most probably not chosen another way :)
Been praying about this and there has been confirmation upon confirmation. feeling nervous about this particular big leap but very excited about it as well.
KL here i come :)
p/s
Happy new year to all of you
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